You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
