he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize