He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
