I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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