like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
