I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
