it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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