recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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