i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
