Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
