hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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