yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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