You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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