no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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