Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
