I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
