The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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