Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
