I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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