carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
