do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
