He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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