Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
