Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
