She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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