Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
