stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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