Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
