its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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