Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
