I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
