it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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