I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
