if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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