I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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