I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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