So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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