It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
