The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We are all done wearing pants today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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