Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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