And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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