I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
