I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
