Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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