Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
