Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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