pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
did i just pee glitter
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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