Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
