We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize