Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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