Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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