Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
