I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
