The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
