I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
