need another drink. this is the easiest way
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
