I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
