I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
where are my pants?
in the oven.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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