We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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