I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
