dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
