I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize