put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
there is glitter all over my balls
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