4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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