I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
