Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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