Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
