Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
