wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
