so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
