I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
